Ellecia Paine Coaching/Breaking Free From Monogamy: Evolutionary Coaching for a Non-Traditional Life - 8 Payments

You get it.

You see all the benefits of non-monogamy—but maybe you’re not exactly feeling them right now.

But what if I told you…

You can step into unshakeable clarity and confidence in your choices and agreements.

Imagine feeling so aligned and secure in your relationship structure—whether it’s open, polyamorous, swinging, or something uniquely yours—that you know, without a doubt, you’re keeping yourself and your partners safe, supported, and wildly fulfilled.

Imagine the possibilities! 🖤

Breaking Free From Monogamy: Evolutionary Coaching for a Non-Traditional Life - 8 Payments

Ready to break free from the rules you never agreed to? Welcome to Breaking Free from Monogamy, a 6-month journey where you’ll redefine relationships on your terms. This is where we dismantle societal “shoulds” and create a love life that’s aligned with who you really are. You’re stepping into an authentic, expansive way of living—and I’m here to guide you every step of the way.

DOES NON-MONOGAMY FEEL AS EXCITING AS IT DOES TERRIFYING?

ARE YOU AFRAID YOU’RE RISKING IT ALL?

❔Do you secretly wonder if your partner will find someone else—someone who seems to “get” them better, someone with more experience—and leave you standing there, questioning everything?

❔What about the judgment? If friends or family find out, will they jump to the worst conclusions? Will they think you’re on the verge of splitting up, or worse…cheating?

❔And let’s be real—does it feel like opening this door could unleash something you’ll never be able to contain again?

That dizzying mix of fear and excitement—fearcitement—can be overwhelming. You know that feeling…like stepping onto a rollercoaster, taking that leap from a plane, or speaking your truth in a room full of people. It’s the thrill of freedom and the terror of the unknown, all tangled together.

For those who are already open and exploring non-monogamy, it can feel just as intense. Are you walking a tightrope, wondering if each new connection will disrupt the balance?

Are you questioning whether it’s possible to evolve without losing what you’ve built?

Does each “yes” come with a pulse of fear about where it might lead?

You crave this freedom, this path, but there’s that nagging worry that wanting it too much could risk everything you’ve built.

You want this for yourself. You can see it in your mind’s eye. But that fear of losing your person? It’s intense.

I’ve been there!

I know what it feels like to step out of the “socially acceptable” relationship box, heart pounding, wondering if you’re doing something crazy. I know how exhausting it can be trying to explain yourself to friends who just don’t get it, who look at you like you’ve lost your mind when you’re only trying to follow your truth.

When I decided I was done with monogamy, I thought that decision alone would magically give me confidence. That I’d somehow outgrow my jealousy, insecurities, and possessiveness overnight. Spoiler: it didn’t happen.

I was out here, wanting to have it all—the freedom, the love, the new experiences—without any of the hard stuff. DAMNIT, I WANTED ALLLL THE GOOD THINGS WITHOUT the fears, the pangs of jealousy, the doubt creeping in late at night.

If you’re feeling this mix of excitement and “WTF am I doing?”—trust me, you’re not alone.

HAVE YOU BEEN READING ALL THE BOOKS, BINGING TO ALL THE PODCASTS, BUT IT FEELS LIKE THEY’RE SPEAKING TO EVERYONE BUT YOU?

Yep, been there. I remember scouring all the resources, finding tons of info that seemed to be written for people in totally different relationship styles or life stages. Every page, every episode felt like it needed a translation for my reality, and I was just hoping I wouldn’t screw it all up in the process.


So, here’s the deal:

I did all the heavy lifting—research, trial-and-error, and yes, all the messy, real-life practice—so you don’t have to. I’m here to take what I’ve learned and make it work for your relationship, tailored to what you want to build.


This journey led me to feeling rock-solid in my relationship while savoring every juicy, thrilling thing I’d hoped non-monogamy could bring.

I learned how to handle those huge, gut-punch feelings: jealousy when my partner dated others, the fear that he’d leave me for someone who felt like a “better” fit, and the guilt of wanting my own freedom but hesitating to “share.”


And it wasn’t just about me. I learned how to hold space for my partner’s feelings, too—his unique mix of fears, excitements, and insecurities that didn’t always look like mine but were just as real.

Now, I’m here to help you find that same confidence and excitement in your path, without needing a whole library to get there.

My clients come to me at all stages of their non-monogamous journey, but they all share one thing: they’re in the midst of a big transition.

Whether you’re just stepping into this world, have been flirting with the idea for years, or are already waist-deep in the thrill and chaos of it all, I’m here to give you the personalized support to cut through the trial and error and make this adventure truly yours.


💢Take J., for instance. She and her husband opened their relationship, hoping for some casual fun with a mutual friend. But when real feelings started to brew, they were faced with the question society loves to push: “Who do you choose?”

With my guidance, the three of them explored a new way forward, where nobody had to make impossible choices or risk heartbreak. Instead, they found a path that celebrated both connections, without forcing anyone into the box of monogamy.


💢Then there’s A., who found themselves in a back-and-forth cycle with their partner—open, closed, open, closed, feeling like they were spinning in circles. One of them craved the thrill of a spontaneous fling, while the other longed for soul-deep connections.

The misalignment was creating tension they didn’t see coming. Together, we crafted a clear, shared vision that honored both their needs, creating a foundation of trust and clarity that let them move forward confidently.


Stories like these aren’t just possible—they’re real, and they’re unfolding every day.

Whether you’re just stepping into this world, whispering “What if?” with your partner over wine and late-night talks…

Or maybe you’ve been flirting with the idea for years, cycling through conversations that light up your curiosity but leave you unsure of your footing.

Maybe you’ve dipped a toe in, only to feel that pang of jealousy or wonder if you’re pushing too far, too fast.

Or perhaps you’re already waist-deep in the thrill and chaos, juggling schedules, managing unexpected crushes, or navigating that electric mix of jealousy and excitement when your partner’s eyes light up about someone else.

No matter where you are—on the edge, halfway in, or deep into the adventure—I’m here to guide you through each twist, help you find balance, and give you a roadmap for turning those emotions into a source of connection, not chaos.

Breaking Free From Monogamy is Your Ultimate Guide to Loving Outside the Lines—Here’s What You’re Going to Master:

◽Get razor-sharp clarity on exactly what you want and why, so you can sidestep pointless arguments and rookie mistakes. You’re not here to stumble—you’re here to create something real.

◽Lock down the agreements and boundaries that every thriving open relationship must have. No guessing, no vague promises—this is about securing your foundation so you can explore without hesitation.

◽Discover how to talk to your partner about your wildest desires and deepest fears, turning every conversation into a chance to build the future you both want.

◽The perfect pace for you both, no more worrying if you’re moving too fast or feeling left in the dust—this is about syncing up on a path that’s yours.

◽The issues you’d never think of…until they blow up. Let’s tackle those curveballs before they happen, so you can navigate without getting caught in emotional crossfire.

◽How to handle challenges without slamming the door shut. Because you didn’t open this relationship just to close it again when things get tough.

◽The critical steps most people miss when opening up, so you avoid the messy mistakes that sabotage new adventures before they even start.

◽Sexual safety essentials tailored for non-monogamy. We’re not sugarcoating this—physical safety is key, and you’ll know exactly how to talk about it.

◽The art of talking to potential partners—no more awkward starts, just clear, confident connections.

◽The Who, What, When, Where, & Why of ethical non-monogamy, so you’re not just trying it out; you’re owning it.

◽Consent—the real story. Everything you thought you knew but actually didn’t.

◽Navigating your desires alongside your partner’s, even when they don’t line up. Because this journey isn’t about choosing between wants—it’s about making space for them all.

Breaking Free From Monogamy: Evolutionary Coaching for a Non-Traditional Life Includes:

Six months of deep-dive transformation. We’re not skimming the surface here; we’re diving straight into the raw, real work—facing down jealousy, smashing insecurities, and rewriting the patterns that keep you stuck. This isn’t about quick fixes; it’s about tearing down limits and building the freedom to create a love life that’s unapologetically yours.

12 Powerhouse Coaching Sessions: This is one-on-one, tailor-made coaching for your journey. Forget cookie-cutter advice—this is about your needs, your desires, and your vision. You’ll walk away with a plan that’s designed to light up your life, no compromises.

Unlimited text and voice messaging with Ellecia, so you’re never left hanging. When things get intense (and they will), I’m here to keep you grounded, supported, and moving forward.

Tools That Stick with You: I’m giving you the skills to set boundaries like a pro, communicate at a soul-deep level, and transform old patterns into rock-solid security, trust, and pure passion. These aren’t just relationship tools—they’re life tools, reshaping everything from the bedroom to the boardroom.

Relationship Mapping

Your Blueprint to Clarity and Connection

No more second-guessing or blindly navigating your dynamics. Together, we’ll map out the full landscape of your relationships—laying everything on the table so you know exactly where you stand, where you can grow, and where the boundaries need to be drawn.

This is about building trust that’s unbreakable and intimacy that runs deep. We’re creating a foundation that’s rock-solid and expansive, giving everyone involved the space to feel seen, secure, and completely alive.

Jealousy Management Techniques

Transform the Green-Eyed Monster into Fuel for Growth

Jealousy doesn’t have to be the monster lurking in the shadows. Together, we’ll flip it on its head, turning it into a powerful tool for self-discovery and growth. Say goodbye to feeling stuck or held back—jealousy is about to become your secret weapon for creating the love life you want.

Imagine walking away feeling lighter, liberated, and ready to dive deeper into your relationships without fear whispering in your ear. This is about moving past jealousy and stepping into a love that’s bolder and more fulfilling than you’ve ever imagined.

Communication Skills

Master the Art of Unfiltered Connection

We’re not just “talking”—we’re cracking open the art of real, raw connection. Learn to express yourself with bold honesty, let go of fear, and truly hear your partner. From those make-or-break conversations to everyday check-ins, you’ll gain the tools to make every word an act of love, intimacy, and connection.

Build an unbreakable bridge between you and your partners, creating the kind of trust and closeness that you can lean on—no matter what.

Boundary Setting Toolkit

Protect Your Energy, Own Your Space

This isn’t just about drawing lines—it’s about saying a powerful “yes” to what lights you up and an unwavering “no” to what doesn’t serve you. Together, we’ll design boundaries that honor your needs and your partner’s, creating a space where everyone feels respected and free to thrive.

Imagine feeling grounded and fiercely empowered, with clear, unshakeable boundaries that support the relationships you’re building and protect the life you’re creating.

Relationship Maintenance Strategies

Master the Art of Balance and Connection

Juggling multiple connections doesn’t have to be chaotic or overwhelming. Together, we’ll create personalized systems and habits that let you nurture each relationship without losing your center.

This is about finding your balance in the beautiful chaos, crafting connections that energize and elevate you, not drain you. Step into a love life that lifts you up and feels deeply, deliciously sustainable.

Mindfulness and Self-Care Practices

Cultivate Inner Strength and Serenity

This is about nurturing you—from the inside out. Together, we’ll weave mindfulness and self-care into your routine so that, no matter how intense life gets, you’re grounded, centered, and ready to handle anything that comes your way.

Develop an unshakeable sense of self-worth and well-being that lets you show up as the absolute best version of yourself, bringing calm, strength, and depth to every relationship.

Self-Exploration Exercises

Unearth Your Authentic Self

Get ready to dive deep—this is about discovering the power that lies inside. Together, we’ll explore your desires, face your fears, and clarify your true needs, so you’re building a life and relationships that feel like a perfect match to who you really are.

Step boldly into your truth and feel the incredible growth and freedom that come from living in alignment with your core self.

Identify Your Core Values and Deal Breakers

Define What Truly Matters

Together, we’ll dig into what truly matters to you, identifying your core values and boundaries so that every relationship you build is grounded in what feels right for you.

This clarity will empower you to make choices that honor your principles and set you up for authentic, fulfilling connections.

Rewrite Your Relationship Narrative

Break Free from Old Stories

We’ll unpack the stories you’ve been telling yourself about love, commitment, and what relationships “should” look like.

By rewriting these narratives, you’ll gain freedom from outdated beliefs and step into a vision of relationships that align with who you are now.

Imagine releasing the weight of old patterns and stepping confidently into a new, intentional story of love and connection.

This is for You Because…

You’re not here for surface fixes—you’re here to create a foundation that keeps your relationship alive and resilient. Whether you’re trying to save a relationship that’s already open or take the leap without triggering disaster, you’re ready for real guidance, real support, and real solutions.

This is for you because...

you want to experience the freedom and depth of an open relationship without losing what you’ve already built. You’re determined to prevent the pitfalls, avoid the hurt, and make this journey one that brings you closer, stronger, and more connected.

This is for you if...

you’re tired of holding your breath, wondering if it’s all about to fall apart. You’re ready to move from uncertainty to unshakeable confidence, from anxiety to deep trust, so you can embrace non-monogamy with the security and clarity you both deserve.

This is for you because...

you know that love—real, fearless love—takes work, but you also know it’s worth every ounce of it. And you’re ready to make it happen.

Testimonials

 
Ellecia has a deep well of lived experience that is invaluable for couples thinking of opening up their relationship. No matter what we brought to session, Ellecia totally got what was coming up for each of us and helped us understand each other's experiences on a deeper level. She also gave us simple, super-effective tools to help us build trust, better communicate, and to regulate our nervous systems when intense emotions arose. Finally, her light-hearted and joyous presence made it so we actually wanted to do the practices and show up for sessions! 

Ann H.

I learned to not push past my own boundaries, but to feel into what feels aligned for me. To slow down and to feel more comfortable in the uncertain. To recognize that there's not an end destination but relationships are fluid and to learn how to build safety in that fluidity. 

Conquering Jealousy Client

anonymous

She taught me so much about myself. Reassured me when the whole world around me felt shaky. She helped me sit across from my husband and gaze into him for a long long time, and that was the most exquisite feeling. We found our way back to our center and Ellecia Paine was equally our guide, friend and coach. Please call her. It will improve your relationships.

Jennie

I  did 6 ( I think) weeks of relationship coaching with Ellecia Paine earlier this year.  It was amazing. She really helped me understand the origins of a lot of my negative thoughts around relationships and heal some deep wounds. The work  empowered me to love myself, know that I am enough, and step into the qualities that allowed me to pursue the meaningful romantic relationships that I’ve so deeply desired for so long. I cannot possibly recommend her highly enough to express my gratitude for the work she led me through ❤️

Jessica L.

Ellecia is an incredibly talented, intuitive, and sincere coach. From start to finish, she challenged us to dig deep, connecting to and understanding our inner selves. Her uplifting, positive, and fun personality makes her easy to open up to, and the lessons and tools she uses have taken our communication to the next level. As a result, we are living the out of the box relationship of our dreams. Much love!
-          Aaron C.



Aaron Chaffee

I’M SO EXCITED You're Here!

Hi! I’m Ellecia Paine, a sex, love, and relationship coach specializing in ethical non-monogamy and alternative relationship structures. I want to help you build the relationships you’ve always wanted. 

I love helping adventurous people break the social conditioning of monogamy and learn how to navigate healthy alternative relationship styles such as ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, polyamory and swinging. I'll help you move through the challenges like jealousy, fear, anxiety, and insecurities in a way that strengthens your relationships, deepens trust and communication, and leaves you feeling confident and secure.

I believe in courageously challenging the status quo and empowering people to create relationships that work for the real people in those relationships. Throughout the past 9 years living in an ethically non-monogamous relationship while working as a sex, love, and relationship coach, I have acquired valuable insight and a unique ability to share this information with my clients and audience in a way that hits home while leaving them feeling validated and whole.

Still Have Questions? Or looking for something else? Let's Chat!

  • Free

Clarity Chat

  • Coaching session

This call is all about exploring your goals, challenges, and the kind of support you’re looking for. It’s a chance for us to connect and see which of my programs might be the best fit for your needs. While this isn’t a coaching session, you’ll still come away with clarity about your next steps. Ellecia Paine Your Relationship Coach